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2020 Reflections

2020 Reflections

December 30, 2020

I was sitting out on my balcony and feeling so at awe simply by taking a glance at the stunning and mesmerizing view form Marina Bay Sands, while admitting the enchantment of the Gardens by the Bay. The view uniquely captures a moment in eternity, when time appears to be paused, yet life finds a way to amaze you.

While letting myself drift away, my thoughts ran away to this year’s review. 2020 has been hard for everyone and, to put it lightly, it blasted me really hard.

I call this my `2020 Hurdles List`:

lost my job because of Covid-19;
lost my business customers because of Covid-19;
lost a cousin due to the hypocrisy that apparently has been her modus operandi over the years, while getting involved in family’s politics and playing on all sides;
had a tremendous quarrel with my family (thankfully, things improved now);
✓ almost lost the one love of my life

Even if at times I feel lost and confused about all of these situations, I am proactive and I understand these are a few step-backs that are meant to keep me going, to push me to get to the even better side of me, to the ultimate version of an improved self. This being said, I am working hard on searching for a job, knitting everyday in order to find new design ideas and transpose them into reality and, of course, working on my relationship and repairing it.

I am not going to lie – I am mentally and physically drained. I feel like somebody absorbed every last bit of energy and zest from me. Sometimes I find myself wishing to have a switch off button, to turn off or delete a decade of feelings and memories.